I heard loud bang bang outside... kids playing fireworks n firecrackers since the 1st Ramadhan. Sometimes the sound could stop your heart from beating..so loud. I used to play fireworks during my childhood, especially the tricolours which can changed it colours from yellow-red-green. It's so beautiful and cost for 30 cent in 1990s.

In my life, it was only 2 years i managed to fulfill all 30 days of fasting...the rest were EITHER i was too weak to continue my fasting and pleaded my mom to break my fast earlier OR because of menstruation. Anyway, everytime Ramadhan comes, i feel so happy...

But, I still remember one unforgettable memory in UK when we broke our fast in the mosque. One day it was winter (october 2005), I was working in Travel Lodge hotel that evening. Aisyah and I planned to break our fast at Nothumbria Uni mosque that evening.. Once i returned home from working, get shower and ready to go. We need to travel to New Castle city by bus because the uni is in the city centre.

Once we reached there, some people were waiting to break fast too. It was 5.25pm and time for iftar, we ate dates and drink juice first and ready for maghrib prayer. We ate heavy meal cooked by malaysian just right after the prayer. Then we go home, normally i just do my Tarawih at home becase the gap between Maghrib and Isyak is 2 hours.

It was just 6.00 pm, but during winter, 6.00pm just like 8.00pm...already dark nite. Aisyah and I waited for bus at the bus stop. Suddenly, there was one stranger approached me and say 'Are you fasting? Take this for your break fast'..He passed me a banana. I'm quite shocked, and say 'no, thanks..I already break my fast.' and smile to him...He insisted me to take the banana but i didn't do it and just still smile. At last he walked away. I felt so, guilty since then and even until today..!

I should just take the banana...The culture in europe and britain are different, if they offered something they really meant it, not like Malay sometimes they have 'ajak-ajak ayam'. I will always feel guilty if i remember the incident...I wish the guy has a happy life and being blessed by god! Wish i could meet him again and take the banana from him..I wish i could turn back time.....

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Early morning, woke up earlier and do lil housekeeping. Carwash after that and sidai baju kak emy yang dia tumpang dalam washing machine. reheat yesterday soto soup and ready for my brunch. Since 2/3 days ago i got backpain, quite disturbing since i cant do my cardio workout and even carry heavy stuffs.

My school has been closed down for 1 week due to ILI (Influenza Like Illness) symptoms attacked the students and being spread among them. So, the Health Officer are asked to come down and they officially announced the school to close down in order to prevent the illness from spreading to everybody and caused H1N1.

I plan to go home tomorrow after finishing all school-works. Unfortunately, i haven't even touch the work and feel so damn lazy to do the work. I have 2 more weeks to go..haha. Very unmotivated statement! This sudden 2 weeks school holiday (the official is only 1 week) i think will make me feel 1/2 crazy staying at home doing nothing. I need to plan what am i going to do for the next 14 days. And we're going to start fasting this weekend..that's what i'm waiting for.

ok, then till we meet again.. (i dun think someone read this blog..huhu)

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I just notice that i have skipped writing on June...It's already July. The time moves quickly day by day. I can still remember what had happened on January clearly. Goshh..We're gonna start fasting next month, on August..that's awesome.

Well, it's quite busy lately (common line..hehe). The school is on holiday today because we just had very tiring Language Week which was just ended yesterday. All the language teachers were working like hell since 2 months ago to prepare for this event. Finally it's all over... and I need to restart working on my P&P right now. I have 25 periods for this semester...another awful scene tho! And as usual i need to plan on the exam timetable for pre-trial and standardise test soon..

I bought fridge and washing machine last 2 weeks. And both has smoothen and ease my work especially washing clothes. I have dreamt of having my own washing machine for ages...and eureka!! it's here in my house. The fridge is for business purposes. I plan to sell homemade chocolate through the internet. I'm looking for the sources, ingredients all over internet...and looking for the best moulds too. I also planned on marketing strategy...hopefully it will works. I would start selling to my students first...

wokeh..till we meet again soon...

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Today is Thursday... finally...end of the week.
'm still working on my brother's project...VB project. Argghh..tak siap siap.. Selagi dia tak viva selagi tu la ...aku kene buat. There's nuthin much to write in here..malas nka menulis pon satu hal. not in the mood of writing.. That's why i leave the blog without an entry. Anyway, the semesteer break is just around the corner... It is really relief time.. I'm thinking of what am i gonna do during the holidays... wanted to do something good such as:
i. join Homemade chocolate class
ii. selling brooch
iii. KL for re-visiting
iv. beads sewing on Baju Raya
v. shopping for Hari Raya

will list a few more 'things to do for holiday' once i get other bright idea...!!
chow!

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If only you know which is the best....

Married is not something you can just walk away when being questioned. I know I'm getting older and am not Benjamin Button who grew younger (physically). I'll turn 28 this coming November. I have a problem with match-making and to be matched coz I don't like to know stranger...it's strange situation. People can be hypocrite. It takes time for me to like people. I never think of this before..and maybe that's why I never had a boyfriend. I dont believe in WYSIWIG in people (not only in developing Web)...

It was last Ramadhan, Aisyah asked me about being her sister-in-law. His brother who works as network engineer somewhere in KL and always outstation all over the world and locals too. He wanted to meet up if he goes outstation in Terengganu soon. I'll get butterflies in my stomach if this really happen...

In the other hand, my neighbour propose me to marrying her younger brother, a contractor. Another match-making scene. I've been told by kak Aya, that everybody in da house has already 'berkenan' including her mother and grandma. I have no idea what should I say...

The 'orang tua' said, if we refused to the 'jodoh' for 7 times, soon it's difficult to get married. If this is true, I have refused to 5 guys last year..and this coming 2 could be 7 times.... Should I just marry anybody...?? ..stranger??

 I like a person whom I can talk about anything comfortably and contentedly...and not a stranger!

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I'm off to work today.. Having rest @home is such a wonderful thing I've done since the last 3 weeks working hard on so much events at school. Home is really a best place to get rest. Home is where the heart is..

It was the Angkasawan day yesterday..felt so tired. The angkasawan is really a handsome man. But, i think he looks better in photo than live. His speech was interesting..lots of information about the space.. one thing that attracted me was his experinced once he got down to earth. He wokes up in the first morning, and didn't know how to walk, which one is the floor and which one is the roof. The conclusion is human is really made for the earth, not other planets. I bought his book 'Reaching for the Stars' and took his autograph. I have no idea why I did this, I was never been a fan of him..

I see him as a very ambitious man. He has a strong mind. He works hard to achieve everything he wants in his life. He said he'll do the best in everything he do. His next resolutions are to be a pilot in 2013 and would like to stays in Africa for fund works. That inspired me...

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek." ~ Barack Obama

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Hmm..today is Friday. Thank god it's Friday. The most important thing is IT'S SCHOOL BREAK!! Arrgghh.. finally..it is sooo relief. However still have to go to school today to finished up the report on Hari Pendaftaran.

Sebelum tu, benti kat pasar beli kuih pau and nasik lemak for my breakfast. The nasik lemak is so expensive la RM1.00 with 1/6 telur rebus, 1 slice cucumber and sambal kosong without bilis..nak jumpa kerang jangan la harap. The kuih pau is also expensive, 50 cent a bun, tapi big size la. Nasib la i'm a fan of kuih pau n this one is lembut and inti kacang merah yang enak dimakan begitu saja...

Sampai sekolah, disambut oleh Miki. Kucing kurap yang aku tak suka tu. Dia sangat menyebuk, slalu nak menghalang perjalanan, naik atas meja, nak duk atas riba, negekot sampai ke toilet...Tapi kenkadang kesian gak kat dia, so aku share la nasik lemak tu dengan dia.

Semalam result SPM kuar. Bebudak yang ramai datang ke sekolah amik result. Ada yang jumpa and say thanks sebab dapat A untuk subject EST yang aku rasa aku tak buat pape pon, dorang memang terer. So, aku jawab jek 'I don't do anything much, it is your own effort, you should proud of yourself'. Tapi rasanya result tahun ni menurun dan sume cikgu dah cemas. MRSM Transkrian yang dapat 1st ranking tahun lepas bleh drop nombor 10. MRSM kami ni ntahla nombor berapa.

Lepas abis wat report, k.emy n k.wa datang dorang buat laporan sulit ape ntah. So, dorang ajak pegi makan kenduri umah kak ana yang kawen arini. I'm not plan to go, tapi sebab dah dorang sume pegi..so, aku ikut la. Aku tak pakai baju kurung..so, terpaksala k.wa yang nak balik tukar baju tu, bawakkan aku kain skirt labuh. Ok la dari pakai seluar pegi umah orang kawen kat kg. pauh ni. Segan plak nak pakai seluar. Makan nasik minyak lauk gulai tulang yang sedap, gulai daging, sambal belacan, ikan masin, labu masak lemak and acar timun.

Lepas makan terus chow. Ingatkan sebelum balik nak singgah kedai tayar nak beli tiub penutup tayar tu.. Lupa plak arini ari Jumaat, manade kedai bukak. Tu la yang malas tu. Jumaat jek sume kedai tutup. Dahla esok dah nak balik kampung. Takpe la pagi besokla beli kalo kedai tayar tu bukak.

Malam ni nak kemas umah, pack baju, lipat kain semua. As usual keep the house clean and tidy before gone for holidays. Ok. Happy Holidays!

~ To many people, holidays are not voyages of discovery, but a ritual of reassurance - Philip Andrew Adams ~

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~ I was in a bad mood when I wrote that. ~ Thomas Frank.

Arini kuar umah kul 7.00 a.m. Kira lewat dah jugak. Kalau keluar kul 6.50, kete tak banyak sangat yang mengganggu perjalanan ke sekolah. Slalu kalo lambat sket, penuh ngan lori la, teksi yang slow, kete yang ada 'P' jugak yang slow. Ingat nak beli kuih pau kat makcik kat pasar tu, tapi rasa cam malas..esok jek la. Surprisingly..orang kat pasar tu cam tau jek aku ni cikgu. 'Ni plastik, cikgu', 'nak bayar ke cikgu?'. Camana la dorang tau..ade cop kat dahi ke? Atopon sebab kebiasaan yang kuar awal pagi cikgu kot. Aku cam nak jawab jek..'tapi, saya doktor makcik, bukan cikgu'..huhu.

Aritu, benti kat pasar nak beli kuih, skali alarm kete tak nak on. Penat aku flash card tu, xdek bunyi. Panic giler..x tau nak kata apa. Dahla bateri tepon habis.Xleh nak dapatkan bantuan. Dah cemas tak tau nak pegi skolah camana. Nak nangis pon ade. Skali, aku cek-cek rupernye aku stop kete..gear letak kat D. Aku angkat handbreak jek masa parking. Rasa cam nak hantuk kepala kat cermin kete.Orang tu dah pesan, kalo gear letak kat D, kunci letak kat 'start' memang alarm takleh on..isk..isk...

Sampai skolah, budak-budak tengah roll-call lagi, still awal la. Arini ramai yang xdek kat jabatan bahasa. k.emy, k.sal n cikgu ferdawos pegi interview KJ. K.wa n k.aya pegi meeting minggu bahasa kat besut kot. yang ada..aku, faisal, cikgu manaf, dr. zul n k.alina. Dr. zul pagi2 dah down sbb dengar citer HEA yang mulut laser tu burukkan dia masa meeting minggu bahasa last week, dahla depan sume perwakilan..memang menjatuhkan reputasi dr.zul la. tak paham nape dia dengki sangat ngan orang tu. Ah..malas nak layan orang tua tu memang talam dua muka..

arini ada meeting Program Angkasawan Pulang ke Gagang. Sibukla jawabnya Dr. SMS nak datang ni. Malas la nak join..tapi masalahnya aku ketua AJK buku program. Tensen la...Mana nak Minggu Bahasa lagi, nak buat jadual standardise test, mana nak buat soalan lagi..serabut laa..Masa meeting, kak ina tanya soalan...'ko rasa ko ok tak kat sini..'. Aku pon apa lagi..meluahkan segala apa yang terbuku di hati, yang lepas tu baru aku tau rupanya kak ina pon mempunyai pendapat yang sama. Betapa kami telah sacrifice masa dan tenaga yang melampau, multi-tasking melampau. Dan yang terkejutnya..dia dah print notis letak jawatan, tinggal nak kasik kat pengetua jek..dia kata dia nak sambung master, jadik RA kat UMT.

Sejak 2-3 minggu ni pon aku asyik pikir pasal nak sambung master full-time. It's too much here. Seteruk-teruk keje kat KL tu. Aku tak penah bawak balik keje ke rumah, weekend aku free. Keje focus pada satu projek satu masa. Dah abis yang tu, move on ke projek lain. Kalo kat sini, tak menang tangan. Report meeting tak siap lagi, dah nak kene buat dokumentasi. Tengah2 buat, kene pulak buat buku program, banner, soalan, jadual exam...sume dateline dalam masa terdekat. argghhh....

Arini aku memang tak masuk kelas sebab meeting kul 10.30 a.m. So, aku dah prepare exercise untuk budak2 buat dalam kelas. Ngatkan nak bagi tengok movie jek sebab takdek mood nak ngajar. Aku nyer otak asyik pikir pasal nak carik keje lain. Jumpa budak2 drama tadik pon x berapa bersungguh. Sebab kesian kat budak-budak terpaksa la jugak..si Fizi, budak yang suka pakai baju belang2 tu..aku ingat nak apointed dia jadik director la.. dia cam ada pengaruh sket.. aa..tengokla camana ..I just want to be at home.. and still buat keje kat rumah...another work to be done. Sometime i think, people are taking advantage of my skill that i have.... tireddd......

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Hari ni Sabtu.. Awal-awal pagi dah bersiap nak pegi sekolah. Hari ni aku janji nak buat audition drama ngan budak-budak..erkk..tetiba tekak rasa loya. Nak kene cari gula-gula masam kat dapor jap. Ha..sambung balik. Patut audition kul 8.30... cikgunya datang lambat... kul 9 baru start..budak2 dah fed-up. So, I said sorry to all the students dan terpaksa la cakap lori banyak pagi2 sabtu disamping ada pasar tani kat kuala berang..tu yang buat jam...huhu.

Audition kali ni nak 7 orang jek.. Tapi cam ramai la pulak yang macam boleh berlakon disamping aku yang cam kesian kat budak2 yang nak berlakon sangat..so i have more than 10 students yang layak.. Mostly girls, x ramai yang boleh berlakon sangat..tapi cam kesian sebab yang datang ni pon, yang dah pernah audition masa 1st audition aritu.. tapi sebab terpaksa short-listed 15 orang jek.. Audition ni macam interview la plak. Dah teringat masa zaman2 kene interview. I hate interviews! Especially interview keje ngan government. It's sucks! Buat interview sekadar syarat jek, padahal dah confirm ada orang untuk jawatan tu. Biasalah pakai coaxial cable or more stronger cable la..

Ist interview ngan gomen masa tahun 2006 kat UPM, jawatan PPSM kat Sekolah Pengajian Siswazah. Masa tu baru balik UK, xdek keje lagi..tengah  tunggu keje yang sesuai sket la nak di'accept'. So, pegi la semua interview. Suh datang kul 8.30 a.m, pastu interview start kul 10.30. Dahla hari yang sama aku ada interview kat PJ (post Web Designer) kul 11.00 a.m. Aku mintak awal nak kene interview, masuk sudah... panel ada 7 orang yang macam sume orang nak bertanya serentak..mana satu nak jawab pon tak tau. Provoke yang macam bagus konon-konon dia ada ISO9001. Aku cam bengang..lagipon dah tau post ni mesti dah terisi. Bila dia tanya 'ada tak pernah pergi interview kat tempat lain?'..aku pon cakap la dengan selamba 'ada, ni kul 11.00 ni kang saya ada interview kat PJ'.. haha..puas hati.  Malas nak layan.. sejak tu aku banned UPM untuk apply apa-apa jawatan sekalipon.

2nd interview ngan gomen, jawatan PPSM tak tau nape aku apply PSM dia tak panggil interview. Masa tu kat Kuantan, time ni aku dah keje. Interview under SPA sbb aku isi borang online. Cam biasa la start lambat dari yang dinyatakan dari surat. Pastu panel tu bleh pegi rehat minum-minum, isap rokok kul 10.00 a.m kitorang ni dari kul 8.00 cam tunggul tunggu, sakit perut la, nak terkencing la sume ade sbb nervous. Bila turn aku dia tanya la pasal SDLC, aku ngan bangga nyer men describe pasal SDLC siap ngan IBM method, waterfall system bla bla. Pastu dia tanya KSU malaysia..aku berjaya gak jawab sbb dapat soalan bocor kat luar. Last-last dia suh aku mintak post PSM, sebab over-qualified. Aku sepak jugak orang tua ni. Dahla aku amik cuti, balik kuantan..pastu on the same day carik tiket bas semula nak balik KL.

3rd interview pon kat Kuantan..kali ni post PSM. Tapi, bak kata sorang mamat yang pon tengah tunggu turn tu, 'kalo soalan yang dia tanya tak serious sangat, cam simple2 jek. tu makna nya dah ada orang la'. Hmm.. betul la kot, sebab sume yang masuk tanya soalan yang simple jek..start lambat plak tu. Biasa la, aku tak dapat la jugak.

Kira trade-mark interview keje ngan gomen (yang confirm dah ada orang):
i) start lambat dari yang di jadualkan.
ii) tanya soalan simple jek.

4th interview keje ngan MARA ni la.. Tu pon aku memang jawab soalan dorang cam mengong-mengong jek. Dahla orang last skali. Siap ada mock-teaching segala. Interview kali ni, aku memang macam saje test market jek, bleh ke tak aku nak jadi cikgu, takdek la bersungguh mana. Siap aku jawab 'i'm sorry i'm not an english or tesl background, i'm not sure about that'. Banyakla soalan yang aku tak leh jawab. Aku pon tak rasa aku dapat pon.. Tetiba dapat la pulak.. dahla masa tu aku xdek keje..sebab resign kat ofis lama dengan boss psycho tu. Aku pon belasah jekla..kuala berang pon kuala berang la..

Tu yang cam tak betul sangat duk kat hulu ni...tapi ok ape.. pagi-pagi pegi sekolah nampak gunung-ganang, kabus, sunrise, pokok-pokok hijau, sawah padi.. cam best kan.. kalo kat KL tu ngan berebut-rebut naik bas, berebut naik LRT, ngan asap kenderaan yang terpaksa sedut tiap2 pagi, sblm smpi tmpt keje dah penat sbb jalan kaki. kuih pun harga RM1-3, mee sikit, nasik lemak ciput jek sambal cam taknak bagi. Pastu asyik nak shopping jek, sbb banyak sangat benda yang nak di beli. Kalo kat kuala berang ni ape jek ada paling top 7Eleven la yang cam maju sket. Kedai runcit comel, pasar mini DM, restoran yang slalu pegi..selasih yang aku paling suka menu dia mihun tomyam pedas..skang aku dah telan air liur..huhu.

Eh..nak prepare pudding triffle untuk pot-luck besok. Ngatkan nak buat tiramisu..tak jadik sebab whipping cream & cream cheese tu kene letak dalam fridge, dah siap masak pon kene letak dalam fridge..aku takdek fridge masalahnye.. so lenkali la..

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Today is 4th March, in which it is a Public Holiday for Terengganu for Hari Pertabalan Sultan Terengganu. I went to school today to arrange all the seeds program books on it shelves with another collegue. It just because we have HQ representative tomorrow coming tu our school for Minggu Bahasa meeting. I think, I have too much of work lately. Now I'm working on 30 MCQ questions for EST. Later I have to mark the exam paper. Soon, I have to train all these students for drama. I don't know when can I get rest.. Doing something for my own. The school holiday just around the corner. It's within 2 weeks time. And, I have to help my eldest brother finish up his assignment on VB during the school holiday.. arrghh..

Sometimes, a computer background teacher who teaches English been manipulated to do all works that relate to computer. When it comes to works that need computer, everybody will pointed at me. It's not I don't want to do, but at the same time I have my  finished my own work too. I don't mind to teach them on using computer. But, sometimes, to log into the PC, they asked me the passwor, to use the internet, again it will be me to provide the password. When the printer can't work well... then they call me out. To type data in Excell..that'll be me. To design a advertisement..here i go. I tried to help them as best as I could. But sometimes, I don't have enough hand to give help. Being a multi tasking machine for most of the time. Can't help everyone at anytime... I can't pleased everyone..but i tried to pleased them.

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